Oh baby! Budgeting for that bundle of joy

Having a baby is one of the most joyous occasions in a person’s life, but can also come with its share of stress and anxiety. From those early pregnancy cravings all the way through picking the right daycare, host Kim Chapman discusses the ups and downs of financial planning for a newborn with new mom Betty Mujica-Milano. They discuss the cost of different birthing options, how to avoid going broke buying “must-have” baby products, and much more. 

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00;00;02;00 - 00;00;13;07

MC

Welcome to Money Matters, the podcast that focuses on how to use the money you have make the money you need and save the money you want. Now here is your host Miss Kim Chapman.

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Kim (host)

Hello and welcome to Money Matters, I am your host, Kim Chapman. I am a certified credit union financial counselor with over 25 years experience in the financial world. What I know for sure is that financial, health and wellness is a topic that does not get the attention it deserves.

00;00;33;13 - 00;00;50;24

Kim (host)

Most of us get a medical health checkup annually. Why? Because we want to be healthy and happy as long as possible. We depend on that checkup to confirm that what we're doing well and of course, for support, if something is out of whack. Your financial health should not be any different.

00;00;51;11 - 00;01;09;23

Kim (host)

How healthy is the money you have? Is it strong and robust? Is it able to support you through all of life's blessings and blunders? What's your antidote for getting money when life throws you a curve ball? Do you have a healthy regimen for saving money for the things you want?

00;01;10;19 - 00;01;28;15

Kim (host)

Well, a financial wellness checkup can confirm just where you stand and identify any areas that may need attention. That's why I'm here, to shine a spotlight on financial wellness and offer support for real life experiences from experts in the industry at Neighbors.

00;01;28;16 - 00;01;49;19

Kim (host)

We recognize that achieving financial wellness is not a one-size-fits-all journey. That's why we offer a variety of resources like free one-on-one financial counseling with certified counselors, Money Matters, our online financial education learning system and our blog post the front porch covering matters every day.

00;01;49;26 - 00;02;07;04

Kim (host)

Because let's face it, money matters. Be sure to hit the Subscribe button below so that you're notified when we have a new episode. Today, we're kicking off the first of a three-part series on how to financially prepare for those big, life changing events. Having a baby, buying a home for the first time. And of course, retiring. I love quotes and cliches, so you’ll hear these all throughout my podcasts because these are tiny phrases that convey big messages. Here's one for today Alan Miking once wrote Failing to plan is planning to fail.

00;02;31;21 - 00;02;54;28

Kim (host)

Let that sink in for just a minute. So let's talk about it. How do you financially plan to have a baby? How do you budget your finances to include expenses associated with a new person in your life? How do you prepare for the unexpected expenses and how do you save for that precious little new Joy's future?

00;02;56;00 - 00;03;15;28

Kim (host)

It can be difficult for new parents to distinguish and tell the difference between needs and wants when it comes to a new baby, especially that first born. If you're on social media, you know, it’s filled with elaborate gender reveal parties and even more elaborate birthday parties when that baby turns one.

00;03;17;14 - 00;03;34;09

Kim (host)

But there is more to having a baby than just celebratory events. What types of costs are associated with prenatal care? What about the birth of the baby? Did you know that there are at least five different birth delivery options, each varying in costs, depending on where you live?

00;03;35;04 - 00;03;57;21

Kim (host)

The average cost for a traditional birth is around $15,000, while a C-section is around 30,000. But you might be surprised to know that using a midwife is a lot less expensive anywhere from two to $4,000. When I was pregnant, I had the same condition as the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate.

00;03;58;00 - 00;04;14;04

Kim (host)

It's called hyperemesis. Basically, we suffered from severe vomiting throughout the entire pregnancy. Let me tell you, it was not fun. But what this meant was that I had to see my OBGYN as many as ten times more than if I had had a normal pregnancy.

00;04;14;18 - 00;04;32;28

Kim (host)

This meant extra co-pays, and I can't begin to tell you about the different prescriptions and treatments I had to endure during my pregnancy the first time. My weight was great. I was healthy. So there was no reason for me to expect or to plan to have all of these extra expenses.

00;04;33;13 - 00;04;55;12

Kim (host)

Was I naive? Should I have considered? What would it cost if I had an abnormal pregnancy? Think about it. Healthy women suffer from an onset pregnancy condition called gestational diabetes. I'm sure most of you've heard about it. And according to the March of Dimes, 7%, that's seven out of every 100 women suffer from this condition.

00;04;55;22 - 00;05;13;06

Kim (host)

So just think about it. That's a condition that a healthy person can be subjected to during their pregnancy, and there are going to be additional costs that come along with it. So joining me today is my colleague and brand new mom of a beautiful baby girl, Miss Betty Mujica-Milano.

00;05;13;29 - 00;05;34;22

Kim (host)

Betty represents the millennial generation, but she also has the bonus experience of going through her pregnancy and delivery of her baby during the pandemic. Hi Betty, I'm so excited to have you here and listen to you share information about your journey going through your pregnancy and delivery, all while dealing with the pandemic.

00;05;35;15 - 00;05;47;09

Kim (host)

So tell us a little bit about Lynnie. How old is she? How is being a mom so far? What kind of things is she doing? I know that at that age, a newborn, they have new milestones every day.

00;05;47;22 - 00;06;03;09

Betty

They do. Thanks so much for having me. Kim, I'm so excited to talk about this topic. It's something I'm very immersed in currently. So our daughter Leonie is four months old now, and she is growing and learning new things every day right now.

00;06;03;09 - 00;06;19;24

Betty

Her big thing is rolling over. She is almost able to roll over from her back to her stomach, and she's working on it diligently every every day. So she's great. We love having her in our house, but obviously things have changed quite a bit from before we had her.

00;06;20;00 - 00;06;24;15

Kim (host)

Oh yes, she's adorable. So how many pictures are you taking a day? That's what I want to know.

00;06;24;16 - 00;06;41;19

Betty

I'm having to pay. See another. This is a financial thing already. I have to pay for that extra iCloud storage because the pictures are astronomical. I'm probably averaging 20 something pictures of her a day and then video. Don't forget VIDEO Of course.

00;06;41;19 - 00;06;54;03

Kim (host)

Of course you've got to capture every moment that is so special. So we're going to go ahead and dive right in. But I don't think we can fully explore this topic, you know, without discussing whether the pregnancy was planned or unplanned.

00;06;54;15 - 00;07;01;16

Kim (host)

You know, 45% of pregnancies in the U.S. by American women basically are not planned. So what's your story?

00;07;01;27 - 00;07;17;27

Betty

So for us, this was something that we did plan. My husband and I at a certain point during the pandemic, I think I kind of came to the conclusion that, you know, being in my early thirties, we knew we wanted to have kids eventually. And I just it didn't make too much sense to me to wait any longer, you know, to wait for the pandemic to die down to, you know, be able to go back to living the way we were living before, to go to concerts, to go to parties and things like that.

00;07;31;22 - 00;07;41;09

Betty

I thought maybe it was the right time to go for it, especially because things were really so quiet in the world at that time. And I was like, Well, it's probably a good time to be pregnant. You don't have FOMO.

00;07;41;10 - 00;07;49;28

Betty

I mean, nobody else is doing anything. So. So, yeah, we sat down and had a pretty intentional conversation about planning to have a child.

00;07;50;13 - 00;08;02;06

Kim (host)

I tell you, the pandemic gave couples a lot of alone time, if you will. So I imagine that planned unplanned, there are going to be a lot of babies that are born specifically because of the pandemic.

00;08;02;06 - 00;08;02;23

Betty

Absolutely.

00;08;02;26 - 00;08;10;11

Kim (host)

What was the discussion like? So who approached who? Was that you? Was it your husband? And what sort of things did you actually discuss?

00;08;10;17 - 00;08;23;10

Betty

So I we had talked about it probably a year prior to the pandemic. Just, you know, in general. I mean, since we've been together, we both knew we wanted to have kids, but there wasn't really a time where we felt ready.

00;08;23;19 - 00;08;39;09

Betty

And then at some point during the pandemic, like I said, I just it came to me. I was like, Actually, I think I'm ready now. And so I approached my husband and said, Hey, I think I want to start trying to have a baby, you know, because you have the conversation where it's like, OK, we want kids

00;08;39;09 - 00;08;51;13

Betty

, and then you have the conversation where it's like, OK, when are we going to have the kids? And then you have the conversation of like, OK, are we about to start to try to have the kids? And then you have that conversation where you're like, I'm pregnant.

00;08;51;25 - 00;09;02;28

Betty

And so I was using a long term form of birth control. So that was one of the big conversations to have was when to get off of that birth control in order to to start trying to have the kids.

00;09;03;08 - 00;09;14;22

Betty

But then in addition to that, we just talked about kind of like our current situation with our house. We we own a house, but it's a two bedroom, two bath. It's twelve hundred square feet, so it's not a huge house.

00;09;14;23 - 00;09;32;17

Betty

It works really well for two people and pets. But we weren't sure if it was going to work well for us growing our family. So we talked about that the option of like, well, should we stay in the house or do we try to buy a new house before we get pregnant or when we do get pregnant, et cetera

00;09;32;17 - 00;09;48;18

Betty

, et cetera. Also talked about cars. I have a small hatchback that we call the go cart. And then my husband had a Ford Escape that I wasn't a huge fan of. So he did end up getting a upgrading his car to something a little bigger and more safe.

00;09;49;00 - 00;10;04;24

Betty

I stayed in the go kart. Unfortunately. We transport her in the in the nicer car, but we talked about all those kinds of things before even, you know, attempting to get pregnant, just to see how we felt about, you know, bringing a baby into that situation or feeling like we needed to change some things.

00;10;06;00 - 00;10;19;11

Kim (host)

So, so many young couples put off having a family because they just don't feel like they're financially prepared. You know, they may see their friends just, you know, maybe not being able to do the things that they used to do because of finances.

00;10;19;18 - 00;10;31;05

Kim (host)

So in terms of dollars, did you feel that you were financially ready? Did you actually sit down? Did you use a budget beforehand? Did you look at a budget and say, Yeah, you know, we're making enough money. I think we're going to be OK?

00;10;31;05 - 00;10;41;19

Kim (host)

Did you did you consider the cost outside of, you know, the home size and whether you needed to get another vehicle? Were there other factors that you looked at before making that decision?

00;10;41;21 - 00;10;54;10

Betty

So we did obviously look at it all. Not obviously, I guess, but we looked at the cost of having the child just initially, right? So the actual cost of, you know, all the prenatal care and the and the birth and all of that.

00;10;54;10 - 00;11;08;10

Betty

And then we also looked at the cost of daycare, which we knew would be our biggest additional cost. We're also lucky because we live near all of our parents. So that was also a big thing because we were like, OK, child care, daycare is one thing.

00;11;08;10 - 00;11;20;09

Betty

And then you talk about babysitters and you know, if you do ever want to go do something. And so a big factor for us was that we do have a lot of family around able to help us with those childcare costs.

00;11;21;13 - 00;11;39;07

Betty

And yeah, I mean, daycare was kind of that big, the biggest fixed cost that would be added to our budget, but we felt comfortable once we kind of saw what the average costs in Baton Rouge were to take that on into our into our expenses.

00;11;39;08 - 00;11;57;07

Kim (host)

So do you remember what that number was? Because I remember reading that most young couples. Are misguided about how much it costs. It's basically just like the delivery process, you know, they estimate that for that first year, it's going to be from one to $5,000 and they're surprised that it cost a lot more.

00;11;57;16 - 00;12;01;26

Kim (host)

So do you want to share with that number that you thought it was going to be?

00;12;03;10 - 00;12;21;26

Betty

So I'll be honest and say, we didn't look, I guess we looked at everything in chunks and so we didn't look at a holistic like, what will the first year of her life cost? So as far as like the birth itself, we knew that we needed about $7,500 saved in order to pay all of that.

00;12;22;06 - 00;12;34;16

Betty

And that was after going to the birth center and talking with the midwives and getting kind of our estimate of what all of my prenatal care would cost, which was about $5,000 and including labor and all that stuff.

00;12;34;22 - 00;12;54;14

Betty

And then an additional $2,500 for kind of the incidentals around it and an additional month of maternity leave for me. So that was $7,500 right on the front end that we knew we needed to have. We did have a surprise cost of an additional thousand dollars that we needed to cough up for a doula, which is somebody who helps you through your labor. I had a natural labor, so it's basically a support person. So that was an unexpected cost. So actually, you know, ended up being around maybe $8,500 like all in. But she was so helpful, and it was totally $1,000 that was worth it.

00;13;13;13 - 00;13;30;24

Betty

So that was what we budgeted for that and then as far as daycare. We were looking at probably $900 a month and then just the cost of like diapers and things like that is probably like twelve hundred dollars a month to add her to our lives.

00;13;31;19 - 00;13;43;01

Betty

She hasn't been in daycare yet, so she starts in January, so that costs will start then. And we actually ended up finding a daycare that was not as expensive as we had budgeted for, which was exciting.

00;13;43;10 - 00;13;49;15

Kim (host)

Well, let me just add get ready to add tissue into your budget because you're going to cry. Probably the first month.

00;13;49;18 - 00;13;52;10

Betty

I know I really don't want her to go.

00;13;53;02 - 00;14;08;22

Kim (host)

So I want to kind of backtrack just for a second. So you use something similar to a midwife. A doula. And I mentioned in the beginning of the program that that is very cost saving compared to a traditional birth or even a C-section.

00;14;08;26 - 00;14;17;06

Kim (host)

Did that play a factor? Did you choose that? Not solely because of money, but did the cost of it actually play a factor in you choosing to go that particular route?

00;14;17;23 - 00;14;32;02

Betty

It actually did. I knew. I knew that I had wanted to use a midwife and a doula and kind of go the more natural route initially anyways. But once they did the cost comparison for me, I was even more sold.

00;14;33;00 - 00;14;48;02

Betty

So I felt really good about my decision and I was glad that it was a little bit less expensive. But that being said, if you're not prepared for natural birth, you know cost can't be the only factor. So really, it just sweeten the pot for me.

00;14;48;11 - 00;14;58;16

Kim (host)

Well, yeah. When I remember being pregnant in the early days, it was whether it was going to be paying for not paying for. I don't even think cost had anything to do with it. It was like, Yes, give me drugs.

00;14;58;16 - 00;15;14;23

Kim (host)

We don't even want to know what they cost, just make sure we have them. So I guess we can fast forward to the pregnancy. So I know that some expenses that come with that maternity clothes, you know, we kind of talked about the doctor visits, but even eating, you know, traditionally we think of being pregnant, we see

00;15;14;23 - 00;15;29;11

Kim (host)

it on TV. Everybody just over eat, you know, we're eating three times the meal. So did you find that you had additional expenses in terms of just like your dietary habits, nutrition, you know, eating more? Or it could have been maybe just the opposite.

00;15;29;12 - 00;15;48;10

Kim (host)

Sometimes people say, Hey, now it's time for me to eat healthier because I'm pregnant, but we know healthy food cost more. So did you see any fluctuations in your expenses just for food and then even maternity clothes? Did you go crazy and, you know, get that the latest Liz Claiborne maternity line or how did you handle those things?

00;15;49;10 - 00;16;10;07

Betty

So as far as our food budget, I didn't see a huge increase for us. I did probably eat a little bit more than I usually do, but it wasn't anything so significant that it like blew us out of the water, especially probably the cost savings of the first three months of the pregnancy kind of balanced the last

00;16;10;18 - 00;16;25;11

Betty

, you know, six months of the pregnancy because first three months, I felt sick to my stomach and I didn't want to eat anything. I didn't have hyperemesis, luckily, but I just had regular classic morning sickness, and all foods were really grossing me out.

00;16;26;23 - 00;16;39;12

Betty

But after I got over that hump, I kind of just got back to eating, you know, pretty normally. So I didn't see anything super crazy with that. Like, no, everyone was like disappointed. I didn't have any like super, super crazy cravings.

00;16;39;12 - 00;16;53;09

Betty

Honestly, now postpartum, I crave chocolate like more than anything, and I've never liked chocolate that much. So my chocolate budget is like through the roof right now. Currently, I'm experiencing that. Not so much during the pregnancy.

00;16;53;10 - 00;17;05;09

Kim (host)

Well, hyperemesis probably was my blessing in disguise because, you know, I didn't feel well, so I couldn't get up in shop like I imagined I wanted to. You know, my first child, we found out what it was going to be.

00;17;05;09 - 00;17;15;26

Kim (host)

It was going to be a boy. And I'm sure if I were not sick, I probably would have bought everything blue in town. And I know that there are a lot of new moms are potentially going to be new moms.

00;17;15;26 - 00;17;28;05

Kim (host)

They probably can identify with this. They can't wait to go shopping. What was your experience like? Did you, you know, how would you express your shopping habits, you know, once you found out what you were going to have?

00;17;28;05 - 00;17;50;03

Betty

Yeah. So I am I'm pretty big into thrift, like shopping at thrift stores. I really like thrifting and going to estate sales and things like that. So kind of when I found out I was pregnant, I really just shifted my energy towards finding cute baby stuff, vintage baby stuff at those stores in estate sales.

00;17;50;11 - 00;18;07;02

Betty

And that's kind of how I scratched the shopping itch and tried not to go absolutely nuts at regular retail, especially because a lot of the advice that I got was that you really aren't going to know what your baby's preferences are until they get here.

00;18;07;03 - 00;18;25;07

Betty

So if you load up on things that they don't end up using, then that's kind of like a sunk cost like you don't, you know, like, for example, this is a great example. My daughter runs so hot. She's such a warm, warm baby that, you know, on the right, on our baby registry and like people gifted and

00;18;25;07 - 00;18;39;06

Betty

I even bought some zip up onesie pajamas that everyone was like, Oh, your baby's going to live in onesie pajamas, your baby's going to live in onesie pajamas. She's been in tank top onesies that I didn't have any whenever she was born.

00;18;39;10 - 00;18;53;21

Betty

She was in tank top onesies up until, I promise you, yesterday the weather just turned. She wore a pair of footie pajamas for the first time last night. Oh, wow! You know, so a lot of people told me like, don't load up on things because you just won't know what your baby's temperament is.

00;18;53;21 - 00;19;09;09

Betty

You won't know what they like and what they don't like. And believe you, me, babies have preferences. So I really took that to heart and I said, OK, well, I'm not going to load up on these things until I meet my daughter and I find out, you know, she's a little hot water bottle who's going to be

00;19;09;09 - 00;19;21;18

Betty

wearing tank tops into the fall, you know, and and we also have a small house. And so my husband is like, don't bring a bunch of junk into the house that we may or may not need. So that also factored into it.

00;19;21;18 - 00;19;29;26

Betty

He keeps me pretty good about limiting what we bring into the house, so we have to make sure we have a place for it and know that it'll be useful to us.

00;19;30;07 - 00;19;48;27

Kim (host)

So speaking of meeting Lenny, I imagine your first time laying eyes on her was probably when you found out that you were having a girl. And of course, all the buzz today, are gender reveal party. I mean, every time you look at social media on the news, you know, there's a story about some extraordinary way that

00;19;48;27 - 00;20;03;24

Kim (host)

somebody is announcing that they're having a girl or a boy. Did you fall into that trap or were you able to keep it very, you know, modest in terms of expenses? I mean, in my day, we just called a people and said, Hey, we found out we're having a boy, you know, buy some blue stuff.

00;20;03;29 - 00;20;19;06

Kim (host)

But today, you know, they're skywriting, there are bombs, there are rockets, and these things are very, very costly. Basically, you know, we were talking about young couples in looking at the cost of having a baby. Some of these people are spending hundreds, maybe even thousands of dollars. So what did you do?

00;20;21;06 - 00;20;38;11

Betty

I feel like people are going to be upset with me when I say this because I was so boring about parties. I said I wanted one party a baby shower. That's it to let people know the gender. We called them up, texted them like as people wanted to know, we just told them.

00;20;39;17 - 00;20;54;18

Betty

And that's just kind of our style. That's just like our style. As a couple of my husband proposed to me with a puzzle while we watched TV. So it was pretty low key and we kind of keep things low key because I think for me, the most exciting thing was just being pregnant and like knowing that we were having a baby on the way. So I didn't need all the fanfare and stuff. And we were lucky that we had close friends that threw us at an amazing baby shower that honestly, we didn't. We didn't have to pony up too much money for us, so we were able to save money in that sense.

00;21;09;05 - 00;21;29;12

Betty

But the big my big splurge, so I did have a big splurge was to get maternity pictures done. So I got a really pretty dress and and one of my good friends is a great photographer. And so we we paid to have maternity pictures done with me and my husband before she came, because that seemed like nice

00;21;29;12 - 00;21;43;19

Betty

to be able to frame and put in her room before before she got there. So that was my big splurge. That was a couple of hundred dollars, but otherwise we didn't fall into the kind of hype of I didn't want to burn down a forest, essentially, is what I'm saying with my gender reveal party.

00;21;43;24 - 00;21;57;28

Kim (host)

Really cool because it sounds like you were able to have the things that were important to you, right? And not go wild on the gender reveal. And guess what? Everybody either found out in advance that you were having a girl or guess what they surely know now.

00;21;57;28 - 00;22;07;13

Kim (host)

So there's a way to kind of have your cake and eat it without blowing your wallet. So that was just kind of fast forward the precious little babies here, four months old.

00;22;07;13 - 00;22;07;21

Betty

four.

00;22;07;28 - 00;22;26;20

Kim (host)

Months out, back at work. But I know that their expenses, you know, once the baby is here, there's no turning back now. And so how has it been would have been the expenses that you expected because we know diapers like they're the commercials that until you get this, when to get that, when I love, I think it's

00;22;26;20 - 00;22;37;20

Kim (host)

the love's commercial that when you have your first baby, you want to buy the 20 dollar diaper diaper right there. By the time you have your second one, you're, you know, $0.50 is fine. So you're the new mom.

00;22;37;20 - 00;22;41;10

Kim (host)

This is the first baby. Where are you with the diaper spectrum?

00;22;41;10 - 00;22;56;25

Betty

OK, so my girl is in a mid tier diaper. I'm proud to say I couldn't do the Huggies and I couldn't do the Pampers. Unfortunately, we. And I'll say this. I'm a I'm picky. My husband's more picky than I am.

00;22;56;25 - 00;23;17;28

Betty

He's I was the one trying to try to try, though, the lower cost diapers. And he was like, No, absolutely not. These things are not for my daughter. So we use Honest Company diapers, and so probably they're like $0.32 a diaper versus maybe a $0.22 a diaper for a Huggies.

00;23;18;19 - 00;23;33;02

Betty

But she is our first, so we do want to treat her with a little bit more sweetness. They're very soft and they have cute patterns on them. But yeah, we probably spend a month, maybe 100 $220 on diapers right now.

00;23;33;13 - 00;23;50;00

Kim (host)

Oh, that's not too bad, though. And it would be nice if we just kept it diapers. But of course, baby Lennie has to eat. And there's that ever controversy. Am I doing formula, which has an enormous cost if it's still as high as when I had my children ages ago?

00;23;50;05 - 00;23;57;12

Kim (host)

And then there's, you know, breastfeeding, so tell us what you chose. And again, you know, how did finances factor into that decision?

00;23;57;13 - 00;24;18;08

Betty

Yeah, absolutely. So I currently am still breastfeeding at four months and pumping, but there was a time period where I wasn't producing enough breast milk. I was having some issues. I found out I actually had had a not a disease, but a disorder where I had to take medication.

00;24;18;26 - 00;24;41;18

Betty

And that thing was like limiting my milk supply or limiting my supply. But like for it to come out anyways. And so we actually did have to invest in some formula, which emotionally felt difficult. But I'll say this financially even more difficult, probably because again, she is our first baby, so we didn't want to just go with

00;24;41;18 - 00;24;59;13

Betty

that regular. And for now, we're going with, you know, a fancier formula company that does like a European style formula that's kind of a little bit more natural, more mimics breast milk. So. You know, it's it's expensive, it's $24 a can.

00;24;59;26 - 00;25;18;02

Betty

Wow. And so. And so, you know, we we did buy probably eight cans of that to help with the supply issues. So whenever there wasn't enough milk that I was producing, then obviously she would go on for. But luckily, I persevered.

00;25;18;02 - 00;25;35;17

Betty

I was like, If I can keep making milk, I'm going to. And now she's actually back fully on just breast milk, pumped milk and breast feeding. And I'll say that was a decision that was obviously motivated by me wanting her to have breast milk because it's so good for her and has all this nutrition for her, but

00;25;35;17 - 00;25;54;01

Betty

also by the pocketbook because we crunched the numbers if she were to convert exclusively to formula and it was it was shocking, it was going to be probably an additional three or $400 in our budget. So I I kept pushing through and now we're in a good place with it.

00;25;54;01 - 00;26;09;09

Betty

But yeah, definitely. Formula is is a huge, huge cost. Sometimes it's worth it for mental health reasons because breastfeeding is a truly difficult journey. But but for me, I was like, If I can make it happen, I'm going to.

00;26;09;09 - 00;26;10;06

Betty

And luckily I have.

00;26;10;07 - 00;26;27;25

Kim (host)

So it's definitely a cost saving, you know, choice that a lot of women make a decision for. And then, of course, there are a lot of women that choose formula. And I know that it can be expensive. And I imagine so many women are grateful that their programs, like many of the children, that can help absorb those

00;26;27;25 - 00;26;44;05

Kim (host)

costs. So, you know, it can make having a baby still very affordable. So your four months in, you made this budget way back, you know what, over 13 months ago? What are some of the surprises you mentioned that you had the additional thousand dollar expense for the doula?

00;26;44;12 - 00;26;49;18

Kim (host)

What have been some additional unexpected costs that you've had in terms of having Linney?

00;26;49;28 - 00;27;06;19

Betty

So this kind of goes back to what I was saying about not loading up on baby gear before you have your baby because you're going to have to load up on way more baby gear after you have your baby because again, there's just things that are different.

00;27;06;19 - 00;27;19;26

Betty

Once they're here, you'll see how big they are. You know, our daughter was £6, about £6 when she was born, and so she was super tiny. And so we ended up having to buy tinier clothes for her. She didn't have.

00;27;19;26 - 00;27;35;13

Betty

We had like maybe 11 thing, a clothes for her that somebody had given me that were like a preemie size. And she was just so tiny when she was born that for a couple of weeks, you know, we had to buy actually clothes for that couple of weeks until she grew into the stuff that we already had

00;27;36;21 - 00;27;50;13

Betty

. And then just like rent, it's just random, random stuff like Bye Bye, Baby has our full paycheck at this point every month because you never know. It's they like a swaddle one day and they don't like it the next day.

00;27;50;20 - 00;28;07;05

Betty

They like it either. one day they don't like it. The next day breastfeeding pillow. It worked for her. There was one that worked for her and then she got too big for it. You have to get another breastfeeding pillow, so it really is just kind of a revolving door.

00;28;07;06 - 00;28;14;10

Betty

They change so quickly and so you really have to adapt to those changes and you have to buy the gear to go with it. So.

00;28;14;10 - 00;28;23;10

Kim (host)

So sounds like you've got to kind of test the waters, don't go out and buy a whole lot of anything because the baby may have a completely different personality. That's moms. I hope you're listening.

00;28;23;11 - 00;28;41;28

Betty

That's the advice you think. You've read everything about a product and it's like, it's the best product. Every baby loves this product. You buy it for your baby. They will hate that product. I promise you that the one the one item I will say, I've never heard anyone complain about that our daughter loves and is worth the

00;28;41;28 - 00;28;55;22

Betty

investment is a baby Bjorn bouncer. It is a 200 dollar chair again, and that was a cost that we paid before the baby because the reviews had me convinced and she sits in it every day, so she loves that.

00;28;56;11 - 00;29;05;00

Betty

So if you're going to go crazy on something, I would go crazy on that. Otherwise, the Mamoru. Nobody likes it. No babies like the Mamoru, if you're out there.

00;29;05;02 - 00;29;16;14

Kim (host)

So what about the other gadgets I can remember when my child was little, the new thing was a wipes warmer, you know? Oh, you don't have to put the ice cold wipe on the baby. And I remember getting that.

00;29;16;14 - 00;29;22;12

Kim (host)

And then I think that was the like, maybe the baby diaper genie, you know? Are they worth the money?

00;29;22;29 - 00;29;37;14

Betty

Diaper warmer? No, I didn't get one. It's that that's a little wild. So we we did not get the diaper warmer. We did get a milk warmer. And at first you warm your your baby's milk and then you stop.

00;29;38;27 - 00;29;54;02

Betty

Right now, she drinks milk at whatever temperature the milk is out of, it's coming out of the fridge. That's the temperature she's getting used to. Variable temperatures is what I think. Diaper genie. Yes, worth it. OK, I see that one still holds true, I think.

00;29;54;12 - 00;30;06;00

Betty

Because you go through a lot of diapers and you definitely want a way to seal all that away in a different place, so we don't have a diaper genie, but we have like a type of diaper pail that.

00;30;06;09 - 00;30;20;15

Kim (host)

I maybe will have to do a show just on. You know what, what? What are those baby products that are worth the money which went on? So I guess I want to kind of end up and just talk about for you and your spouse in terms of having them maybe cut back or change your lifestyle now that

00;30;20;15 - 00;30;29;17

Kim (host)

you have a baby because before, hey, if you want to have date night, you just got dressed and you went out to eat. Has that changed? How has it changed if you had to maybe cut back on things?

00;30;29;24 - 00;30;36;16

Kim (host)

Or is it now we can still go, but now we've got to, you know, maybe pay grandma or somebody to babysit?

00;30;36;17 - 00;30;49;03

Betty

Yeah. So we again, I think a lot of this happened in conjunction with the pandemic. So a lot of our habits changed kind of with the pandemic, we used to go out to eat all the time and go out all the time.

00;30;49;12 - 00;31;06;00

Betty

And with the pandemic, we kind of weren't able to do that. So we kind of got adjusted to this new lifestyle of like cooking at home and doing things at home. And so then adding a baby to the mix didn't feel as hard, like the change didn't feel quite as difficult because it was already what we had

00;31;06;00 - 00;31;20;17

Betty

been doing for a year or so. We really don't go out to eat that much. Like I said anymore, I buy way less clothes than I used to. I used to buy clothes for myself all the time. Now I buy clothes for her, not for me.

00;31;22;02 - 00;31;33;20

Betty

And then, yeah, as far as date nights and stuff, you know, we're parents. So we cut back on the drinking part of date night. You know, maybe we each have one cocktail. And so that saves a lot of money.

00;31;33;20 - 00;31;48;18

Betty

And sometimes we don't even have a cocktail because they're so expensive. It's like $14 a drink. So you know that that really has has helped us out a lot. And then we're lucky. Like I said, we have family here that doesn't make us pay them for babysitting services.

00;31;48;18 - 00;31;50;29

Betty

They just want to hang out with their granddaughter.

00;31;50;29 - 00;32;04;26

Kim (host)

So, so cool. So lots of ways to still have that baby and not go broke in the process. So I think this was really, really informative, really good. And so for those of you out there listening, if you enjoyed this, we have so many more good episodes to come.

00;32;05;05 - 00;32;24;15

Kim (host)

Be sure and click the Subscribe button so that you don't miss another episode. Betty, thank you so much for joining us, Ken. And we're going to follow up with our money minute. Having a baby can be one of the most exciting times of your life.

00;32;24;27 - 00;32;39;05

Kim (host)

Follow these money minute tips to make sure the only thing keeping you up at night is your new bundle of joy and not the financial burdens resulting from failure to prepare. So before getting pregnant, assess your current financial circumstance.

00;32;39;16 - 00;33;00;24

Kim (host)

Use a budget to lower your expenses. This can include reducing or eliminating existing debt. Check out our financial education page for tools to help you along the journey. You can schedule a one on one free financial counseling session with one of our certified counselors and they can help you with that budget to make sure that you can have a perfectly financial stress free pregnancy. And remember. Neighbors is here for you.